Mobile Phone technology rampantly rams me up my own posterior. It's a fabulous sensation, penetrating me with the full flow of exorbitant phone bills, overpriced call rates, lovely customer service representatives named steve who are really just aliases for all the sanjeevs and kumar's in the office.
I serverely love the thrush i receive from a certain consultant who promises oh so much and yet each bill i receive bears no resemblance to the signed contractual agreements? An extra 100 dollars of calls to make to my gynacologist? Free internet to check out the latest in xxx rated midget pony porn?
Nope none of those exist in the surreal, invisible, ziggy stardust ethereal world of mobile phone technology. Just papers with phone bills that cost as much as second hand cars, hundreds of texts that ruin my fungal fingers, 2.50 a minute to check my latent homo voice mails.
Look it may just be that im still in the closet for mobile phone technology and not yet come out to fully vent my bleeding vagina's rage. No i'm not lesbian, homosexual or Sanjeev, I'm just seriously ticked off at not only my own obsession with instant communication, just enraged by my inability to control my pouncing urges to rape my phone with my hardcore love.
I can't wait for the day when instant social networking and communication devices (which double as uber advertising merchants) turn to telecommunications and shake up the status quo of having to pay 70 cents a minute for a phone call.
If stem cell technology is going to mean i will live till im 135 (and no longer working full time) i don't want my arthritic hands and legs to be paying for for telephone calls until the day i die.
Richard Branson, send a FREE satellite to MARS set up a PHONE SERVICE and PLEASE make calls FREE.
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